The one thought which will forever haunt me is the description given by my dad of his cardiac arrest..

It starts with a pain in the chest, which doesn’t go away.. then your left arm starts to hurt, the pain rising in intensity till the body just cuts it off, after that, it goes numb, your breathing comes in short gasps, and your whole chest feels like its going to explode, there’s so much pressure there. Then it starts to cave in,  the rib cage forcing itself in so much, your fingers dissapear into the cleavage that has formed there.

Its all comes down to a matter of minutes.. proper care can mean the difference between life and death in that instant. my dad was lucky that my brother happened upon him collasped on the ja-namaz that night. Five more minutes and i cant even imagine what would’ve happened. God works in mysterious ways no doubt, and He is the only one who can give or take life. That’s one thing i’ve come to realize over past two weeks. May He have his mercy on all of us.

As for me, after my grandfather and father, im next in line…

and the only thing i can do is to pray to God to have mercy and make it easy on my family. Amen.

Through a classroom experience? Through someone taking the time out and guiding you through the process? or by jumping headfirst and learning on the job?

I guess, different people have different abilities to grasp knowledge, and while some will be more adept in picking up on theoretical concepts and applying them to their own settings in their heads, others would need concrete proof before accepting it as practical. The standard consultant answer to any question… “it depends”

and indeed it does. But my dilemma is, does it have to?

First lets understand what the term ‘learn’ actually means shall we? Wordnet @ princeton university defines it as to “gain knowledge and skills”. Now here is where the dilemma lies. All fingers are not equal, hence every teacher and/or mentor is not equal either. What you would eventually learn, either by teacher or mentor, is dependant largely on what they know in the first place. It is a widely known statistic in the education industry that one person can only pass on 80% of their knowledge off to other people, while many people have the abiltiy to learn or retain only 20% of what is taught to them. Hence how much does a person to have gain, in terms of knowledge or skills in order to ‘learn’?

Almost all of us go to different schools/colleges and universities, and everyone is expected to learn almost the same stuff. But why is it then that certain universities develop a reputation of a center of excellence? while others lag behind? I get varying answers on this issue from the different people i talk to, such as 1)not good faculty, 2) not good facilities or 3) not serious enough management. But seriously, does one need that to truly ‘learn’?

How many people graduating from intermediate nowadays even know the basics of chemistry? other than what they’ve been asked to rote-learn to clear their exams? I myself am guilty of that crime, passing through inter, opting not to study (read rote-learn) many sections just because they weren’t the ‘current favourites in the board exams’. So why go through that exercise at all? The same can be said about universities in our proud country, where free-thought is killed and rote-learning/paper filling is encouraged to quite some extent. Even the famed cambridge system couldn’t survive the nation of ‘high scorers / low learners’, with every other student getting multiple A’s, yet failing simple entrace exams.

My contention however, is that they do learn. Even if they fail exams they learn. Because learning (thankgod!) cannot be regulated by what is written in textbooks. They learn the soft skills of ‘dealing with life’.  Whether it be cajoling a grade out of a teacher, standing up to a bully or even being one, these are the lessons which make the character of a person, and make life worth living (or not).

So eventually, the answer becomes, you learn the most out of live by just plain living it. And nothing else. However, to prove that you ‘know your shit’ (so to speak)  you many need to go through countless years of education and certifications afterall. But as much as they can teach you, there is no equivalent to a real life experience.

Confused? Dont be.. its simple.

“Life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans” – Someone i dont remember, so i’ll just say anonymous.

Also…. a picture is worth a thousand words.

*after missing out and trying to catch up with the wednesday wanderers, i’ve decided to skip a couple and just get back on*

Image Credit: Logic+Emotion Blog

Now matter where i go in the world, no matter in what success i get, i know you will always be there to guide me, to keep me above all else and to be the one loving caring person when everything will fail.

I love you mom! And i’m grateful for each and everyday i’ve ever gotten.

*a belated mothers day post as well as a belated wednesday wandering blogword*

Deadlines come closer….

Events come closer…

and then they pass..

and i’m still where i started.

day in.. day out.. time does not seem to even matter anymore

me: no, why dont  you enlighten me!

them: precisely….

ive gone through this routine so many times, but i still i have to learn…

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My response usually is as follows… in the words of Captain Jack Sparrow “till the opportune moment”

But when would you know it is the opportune moment? Sadly, the answer is only clear in hindsight. Being in the stage of life i am right now, opportunities are endless, yet they bring with them the headache of making a decision. Till a couple of years back,  i was not at all capable of making a decision. Things just happened. One after another, and i was quite content with riding the wave. Events would unfold, someone would be there to guide me into taking a step, i would and that would be the end of it. Till now, its served me well. I have no reason to doubt that, other than doubt itself.

At this stage, one of the major decisions i have to undertake is for my career. When i started out with inter, i knew i was going to end up in a software house. Make my way upto system architect in four to six years, and then join upper management at a large organization, become a consultant, or open up my own firm.  My 10 year plan so to speak.

Then i went to university, and realized what software engineering was all about. Realized, its not just programming anymore. Infact, programmers have slowly come to be regarded as the lowest species in the software world. Nothing more than labourers following instructions to write instructions. It doesn’t matter which framework you use, which language you are an expert in, eventually you are just one of the people who take orders from someone else and write code.  I did not want to end up that way, and made my first decision. I would not go into coding, didn’t want to wait through almost a decade of my life doing menial work.

Hence, i ended up joining a consulting firm, realizing the end of my 10 year plan as soon as i started off with my career. I could not wait six to eight years for that position. The result was, i had to play catch up real quick. In over one point five years i’ve been a consultant, i had to learn current practices in software development, best practices and various models and frameworks currently in use in the world. Everyone i talk to in the field right now has a decade of experience under their belt, and here i am, a newcomer, leading projects and getting the same things done. Now, i dont have a 10 year plan, atleast not one i can easily follow.

Another experience in life, joined up karachi metblog as an author. In less than 8 months, became co-captain and now join in the decision making of running the blog. Even though it is more or less a democratic system, with everyone having their votes, the captains are still incharge. Again, couldn’t wait for getting the seniority for it.

And so, the story goes in throughout my life. In retrospect, i do have a bit of ‘over acheiving’ genes in me, yet they are coupled with laziness which make me wait. That was, and still is, one of the biggest worries my father has about my future. I’ve done okay till now, dont know where it’ll lead me to though.

So coming back to waiting for the opportune moment, i believe one such moment has arrived, and its time to make a decision. Need to put myself back in gear. The only problem with the opportune moment is, you can wait for it all your life, but once its here… its you who has to realize it.

*wait was the blogword of the week on wednesday wanderers*

We were sitting outside the uni, waiting for class.. pehla pehla semester, naye naye dost saaray.  Passing the time, thought of playing truth or dare.

I got to have two turns, the first was mine and i chose dare. My dare? Propose to my project partner! Man! that was hilarious! Picture this…

Got up in the middle of the group, took her by the hand, went down on my knees, looked in her eyes and said…

“will you be my partner?”

LoL! The hue and cry which  went up was amazing :p the dramatics and gussa i had to suffer for the next two weeks wasn’t that much (the crucification part).

The next dare, give to a relatively new female friend, slap one guy in the class! Lo & behold, i was the only male friend she had in class… and it came onto me to receive it. Once again, i’m standing in the center of the circle, with another girl but thankfully she cant bring her hand quite upto my face. Then it happened.. the girl i proposed to was good friends with her! After we’re standing in the middle for a minute not doing anything, she stands up, grabs her hand and places a resounding slap across my face! I was too stunned to even recoil!

And so began.. the dare consequences…..

*blogword of the day, part of wednesday wanderers*

“You’re wrong! My grandma was better! It was fairies and princes always” came the reply

The two sisters sat silently remembering… till they heard the excited voices..

“Bari dadi, choti dadi! tell us a story please na”

My very first try at a 55fiction, inspired by Xill-e-Ilahi. Also part of the wednesday wanderers.