Note: the following commentary leads to dark and mysterious reccesses of my mind, and may lead to depression or all out hatred for me as a person. Read at your own risk, i will not be responsible for any consequences made by anyone else other than myself.

For the last couple of days (weeks?) i’ve not been in the mood to write alot. To the point that even my poor blog was being neglected!! (now now! do not despair dear blog! u are very near n dear to my heart!)

What brought this on, you ask?

Darn if i know. All i do know is, the ‘rock n roll’ has been slowly taken out from life.. to be replaced with a dull, senseless humming sound.. the incessant humming which is slowly but surely driving me mad. I’ve started becoming mad a lot too. Go off at the slightest provocation.. Yesterday was about to tear off a co-workers head just cuz he said ‘jaanay kay lye ready hojaao’. I’m writing this because i still have enough senses not to carry out the weird ideas in my head (like bashing the guys’ head in with a sledgehammer!), but i dont know till when…

A couple weeks back, i was soaring through the air, as happy as anyone could ever imagine being. I was thankful for all that i had, thankful even for pain, for it made me feel alive… now, nothings changed, yet i’ve somehow lost the longing for happiness even. Im going through the motions of life, making sure that i dont starve to death or dont stay off work too late, fulfilling social obligations as little as i can. Most of the time, i prefer staying alone, locked up in my room, watching TV or a movie.. I’m starting to abhor physical contact with people, slowly and gradually cutting off all ties with friends and family.. apart from those i absolutely necessarily have to keep.

Damn! i need to get shock therapy! I wonder how much good does 220 volts would do?

*eyeing up an open electric socket*